Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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