ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
