Where are you?
In a non slutty way
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
