he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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