I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Bring me that man meat
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
