Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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