When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
