Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
