i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize