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I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
