Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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