TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
