i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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