Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
