The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
