I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
