i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize