what day is it and did you see me today?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize