1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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