seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
