he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
