she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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