chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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