i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
