I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
