I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
