My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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