Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My feet surprised me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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