At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
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Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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