I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
whose parrot is this?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
