i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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