Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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