no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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