i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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