Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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