im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
