So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
