We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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