Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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