dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
