just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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