How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize