There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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