Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
