i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
