if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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