please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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