Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
