plz talk dirty to me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
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She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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