Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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