The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think I just sharted jello shots
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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