that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sarcasm needs its own font
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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