My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
