Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
