Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
40s are totally the cure
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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