I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.