Duck Duck Cougar?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.